How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Monocle or Imitation is the Best form a Flattery (aka Please Don't Sue Us, DC)

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

HAWK AND A HANDSAW PAGE 1

http://adventuresinpulp.com/hawk-and-a-handsaw-page-1/

            As Matt illustrated "Dick Ruby" I started breaking "Hawk and A Handsaw" and while "Dick Ruby" pretty much turned out the way I originally envisioned it, "Hawk and a Handsaw" took a lot of twists and turns. When I started, I wanted to change the style from our previous story. While I went with a mix of dialogue and first person narration with "Dick Ruby," I knew I wanted to have the dialogue alone drive the narrative in "Hawk and A Handsaw." It was a technique I used with "Jigsaw World," and I feel like it gives the reader a more cinematic experience. There would be no glimpses inside the heads of our characters, everything would have to be said or shown. Initially it would be a dark homage to Superman and Batman. Two characters, that would obviously be stand-ins for the two most famous of super heroes, would be locked in an insane asylum. We would witness the sessions with the doctor and by the end, with no proof one way or the other, only the reader would decide if they were actually super heroes or delusional. That was the plan at least. When I started breaking it, it worked. I still think it would make a great story. But I feared it would be too static, too slow, and too talky for a weekly-pulp-cliffhanger serialized story. It would make a great done-in-one for one of the big companies, but for our format... I'll be honest, I just didn't think it would work. I chickened out.

            However, the nucleus was still there, and another story took form. This form. Once I made the decision as to the direction, I hammered out the plot which became a parody. A delicious mix of bronze age superheroes with a mix of exploitation films from the 70's. "Hard Traveling Heroes" meets "Shock Corridor" or Blaxploitation meets Batman. I started with a serious but fun tale then threw in the obvious satirical elements. When I gave it to Matt, I told him to "draw it straight and to reign me in where I might have gone too far with the parody. The mix worked in the end. My only complaint is that I wish I had more room for humor. Sure the parody is there, the satire is there, but actually funny is missing  (although I did get in a funny sequence in the bonus pages that would be in the print version). Again, character and humor are the first to get chucked overboard when trying to hit that cliffhanger every 4-7 panels. Overall, I think this "world" of heroes would work better in a longer form with a sense of humor like the Giffen-DeMatteis-Maguire version of the "Justice League" of the late 80's. But I'm pretty happy with what we did, it just never jelled like "Dick Ruby" did. I am very proud of the fun twists and turns along the way. At the very least Matt and I showed we can do super-heroes. I just hope we did not alienate any readers who turn to online sites as an alternative to costumed crime fighters. I really do think we managed to put out something different from the standard costumes and capes book.

            So to start: We introduce two doctors, the traditional stuffy old guy and the wide-eyed ingenue. Pretty much as scripted. Matt gives us a great establishing shot of the facility echoing a haunted house from a classic horror film and gives the old guy a monocle. Both of which are just inspired choices. I did go a little far with my description of Dr. Peters suggesting a "Hitler-stash," but Matt reigned me in and went goatee (and monocle). Thank goodness. If this ever gets made into a movie, I want Felicia Day to play Dr. Felicity. Maybe we could find a way to put her in a monocle as well...

The Non-Ending Ending

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

DICK RUBY AND THE CASE OF THE LITTLE GREEN MEN PAGE 14

http://adventuresinpulp.com/dick-ruby-page-14/

            This being our first story, I scripted this page to be a single panel splash page with titles, etc. But when Matt started to draw it he called me and said, "A single panel page seems like a cheat for a weekly comic. A reader waits all week and only gets one panel, I think we should do more than that." I hadn't thought of it that way so, after he told me what he had in mind, it was fine by me. The dialogue played out the same. The only difference from the script was that Matt decided to hammer home the fact that the cop was an alien with the in-between-eye transformation. Since I had just played that beat with Betty in my initial script, I described it as "his mouth has morphed to display the sharp teeth." While we had also played that beat earlier, I thought it would be more scary. Again apples and oranges. His way worked just as well.

            From the beginning I knew I wanted a dark ironic ending. We had no intention of doing another Dick Ruby tale, so it could be assumed that, the aliens killed our dear Mr. Ruby and everything he went through was for nothing.

            But...

            Somewhere during the process I really started to like the guy.  Add to that, characters become real to me. I have to know them completely. While the ending was exactly as planned, (minor details like the mouth/eye aside) I will admit I did cut a line of description to leave a possible dangling plot point for a future story. I had already figured out what happened next. I also figured out who he would marry, when he would retire and his child's name. Not just what came after this case but what came before. I know what got him to start his detective agency. His whole life came to me in a blinding flash. Since writing the story, I have come up with at least 22 other story ideas as well as a spin-off. Dick Ruby is alive and well in my head. Fates willing, maybe we can tell more tales of Mr. Ruby.  Until then you'll just have to assume he died a painful death in the police station on January 4th 1948. Or maybe he didn't, and he will live on in your imagination.

            Either way if you want more of Dick Ruby cases let us know!

 

            You can follow us individually on twitter @BrettTHarris and @mattcdrawsalot. Adventures in Pulp also has a twitter account @AdventureinPulp (no s). Our next new story "Four Horsemen" will start on March 20, but until then Matt will be posting some designs for characters many will only appear in pages exclusive to the print editions of "Dick Ruby/Hawk and A Handsaw." Both of us will continue posting commentaries over the next few weeks.

 

Tomorrow: Commentary for "Hawk and A Handsaw" Page 1

 

Big Climax, Little Boom.

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

DICK RUBY AND THE CASE OF THE LITTLE GREEN MEN PAGE 13

http://adventuresinpulp.com/dick-ruby-page-13/

            There is not much to say on this one. On the first page we establish that the tale begins with a dame and ends with a bang on top of the Empire State Building. We played fair. No cheating. Here it is.

 

            Originally scripted as only three panels: Ruby firing. The big boom and the aftermath.

            Matt played my panel one out over three panels. I absolutely love the expressions he puts on Dick's face. Then, brilliantly, instead of having a big panel with a big explosion he pulled back with a small boom. It seems counterintuitive but works amazingly well. The aftermath he breaks up into two panels as well, which gives us a nice post climactic breath. So here we wrapped the meat of the story and I wondered if anyone would come back the following week for the single epilogue page that would button everything down.

The Trope of the Villain Monologue: My Biggest Worry

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

DICK RUBY AND THE CASE OF THE LITTLE GREEN MEN PAGE 12

http://adventuresinpulp.com/dick-ruby-page-12/

            So here, we arrive the to build up to the big climax and the reveal of the "Big Bad." The last page reveal would leave many readers skeptical. I had to nail this. Here is the problem: If I over explain, I run the risk of insulting the readers' intelligence. If I under explain they might feel cheated. I had solid reasoning. How much to I layout? Luckily, Pulp style is big and over the top more often than not. It doesn't matter if its noir, sci-fi, fantasy or adventure. I have some leeway. Not much, but some. Hopefully just enough or an arch monologue that would explain everything without coming across as too spoon fed.

            First, the "femme fatale" is a traditional trope. I deliberately had Matt avoid the sultry raven haired depiction and requested he go with a blonde girl next door looks for Betty. That was my first act of misdirection.

            Now, let's say you want to set up an online business. The first thing you would do is test security of your website. You would hire someone to try to hack the site and see where you are weak. Logically, I figured if you are planning an alien invasion, and you had a security breach, say a government official (Eugene) then you would want to test and see how vulnerable your plans are. You would bring someone in and put them on the path to get them started. At each level you might help them along, especially if you also needed a fall guy to explain the disappearance of the already mentioned "breach." (Betty puts Eugene's journal in Dick's hands, and whenever he was stumped, they helped him along appearing the sewers, allowing him to escape when they captured him, holding him right at the Empire State Building). Their intent was if the figured out too much on his own they would change plans. If they had to help him along (which they did), he would be blamed for Eugene's death. A plan within a plan. Sure Dick exceeded expectations by killing the sewer aliens and getting the weapon but that's where Betty got over confident. She still sees his threat assessment as minor, even admitting she was only giving in to her "security chief" to prove what a great leader she is. In her mind, it was all silly but methodically planned. Hopefully I spelled out enough for readers to buy it but not too much as to insult them. Every time I made an artistic decision I would take a step back and ask myself, "How would the aliens react be if Dick did X instead of Y." It had to be air tight. To hit that note story wise I had Betty say she figured he would see the aliens, run away, tell authorities, and not be believed.

            The big shocker was the obligatory act of needless violence. The murder of Eugene. I had her do it just to up the evil ante and because it would play as arch. A needed tone for making the monologue go down. Over the top actions always help make over the top dialogue go down better. Remember my motto for pulp: Go big or go home and have fun. None of this would work if some of it wasn't tongue in cheek. Matt even gets in to the spirit by adding such non-scripted touches as having Betty's alien tongue licking the doomed Eugene as she caresses him just prior to the neck snap as well as Eugene's tearful reaction.

Taking Big Chances On A Big Reveal

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

DICK RUBY AND THE CASE OF THE LITTLE GREEN MEN PAGE 11

http://adventuresinpulp.com/dick-ruby-page-11/

           Not much to say here. Initially Dick would see Eugene Lucas before seeing the aliens but Matt ditched that panel to move us along a little faster. Then he divides up the reveal and blasting of the second alien into two panels. He goes a little farther back on the next to last panel, so he can add an extra panel to go close for more impact on the big reveal (initially it was scripted as a single panel).

            The biggest issue here is the big twist. The reveal was one of the last plot points I put in during the outline process. Originally, it was just a generic queen alien, but I found it lacking. Bringing in a new character seemed anti-climatic and I felt I needed it to be someone previously introduced, but the only person I had was Betty Lucas and that didn't make sense. Or did it? Once I put that twist in place everything fell into place. I came up with some logical character reasoning (more on that in the page 12 commentary) and everything worked so I re-wrote the outline and started scripting. It all hangs together but I know it would be a big leap for the reader and the reasoning would have to be airtight to work. They would have a week to mull it over if they were following it live, doubt might build up in their minds. There were some other issues that worried me, but again I will address that tomorrow. Either way it would be a pivotal moment. If I did it right: success. If I screwed it up, the whole tale goes down the tubes.

            Note that Matt gives us some great throw back Kirby-esque tech including some "Kirby Crackle" and, let's face it, anyone who loves comics has to love "Kirby Crackle."

Slow Down, Pay Off, a Warm Winter and a Fez

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

DICK RUBY AND THE CASE OF THE LITTLE GREEN MEN PAGE 10

http://adventuresinpulp.com/dick-ruby-page-10/

            We slow down for a minute to start the build up to the finale. This was around the time I pointed out to Matt that it was January in New York. You'll note that Dick is trying to keep warm without his jacket and a little boy is wearing a pretty heavy coat.  Beyond the date, I never mentioned weather or any cold imagery in the script so, in retrospect, I should have scripted specific elements to remind Matt to keep it cold looking.

            Matt added an additional panel stretching out the recovery of the weapon which gives the moment added weight.

            Another set up from page six plays out here. On page six I had Dick say, "I realize I've grown a tail. I manage to lose it on the way to my office, making only one quick stop along the way." The stop was to hide the weapon. I hoped it would go under the radar and that readers would think the reason he did not use the weapon in the office when the aliens came after him was because they got the drop on him but in actuality, he didn't use it because he didn't have it with him.

            One of the very few times Matt deviated from the script and it didn't work for me was in the last panel. Originally scripted as: "Close on Ruby in as the elevator doors are closing." I wanted to end the page with a beat that Dick was now determined to turn the tables. He was going to stop re-acting and start acting. I wanted to see the determination on his face. To be fair to Matt, I should have been more specific and less vague, but I must confess that I was spoiled by how intuitive Matt is to emotion when he was drawing "Jigsaw World." So naturally once I had a close shot on Ruby and the accompanying dialogue the way it read, I assumed he would get it, but the fault is mine not his. Like I said on the page three commentary, if there was no change to the intent of the scene (it's still there in the narration), and the change didn't effect the plot, so there was no reason to request a change of the artist. It's a collaborative medium. That was his take on the way to close out the page. Please don't think I'm dismissing what he did, ending the page with Dick in motion creates an urgency that virtually propels you to the next page. Apples meet oranges.

            Matt and I are both fans of "Doctor Who" so when I saw the elevator attendant wearing a fez and a bow tie, I immediately called him and said (in an absolutely horrid Matt Smith voice): "Fezzes are cool."

Nuyk, Nuyk, Nuyk and All Roads Lead to the Empire State Building

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

DICK RUBY AND THE CASE OF THE LITTLE GREEN MEN PAGE 9

http://adventuresinpulp.com/dick-ruby-page-9/

 

     Again, I'm pretty glad we manager to keep the action rolling. My original script description for panel one reads: "Ruby striking the MIB in the eye with the thumb of his now free hand. Of course, the "man in black" alien and "green" alien are still switched to keep continuity with the last page, but I guess Matt decided Dick was a "Three Stooges" fan since he goes for the "Moe Howard-two-finger-eye-poke."

     Matt does add two additional panels to the layout: If I recall correctly (and I may not) he said the first one (panel two) was to make the action flow more smoothly. The second (panel four) was added to hammer home that the fact that all MIB were aliens in human form since we missed that beat on the last page. (I absolutely love that panel with the human head with a grotesque alien mouth as well as the black post-contact "spray").

     I had revised the third panel describing the action as: "Ruby throwing the chair at the alien. Perhaps position him like a baseball player swinging a bat." This was so it would tie into page one. I forgot to send it to Matt, so his copy only read: "Ruby throwing the chair at the alien." It worked out pretty well - I guess there are only so many ways to chuck a chair at an ET.

   Finally, I get to pay off  "the rule of three" I planted along the way. The obvious first one was on page one with a direct reference to the Empire State Building.  Next on page three, Dick goes into the sewer on 5th Avenue near 33rd Street. Empire State Building of course sits between 33rd and 34th on 5th Avenue. On page six, the radio reports the sewer collapse near the Empire State Building.  So now we show it and Dick knows he has to go... I thought I used some good reasoning to bring New York's most iconic building into the story. Sure the tallest building doesn't mean much when they could have gone to Mount Chimborazo, but I didn't want to do a story about a gumshoe in the Andes. Besides Roswell is closer to New York.