Paranoia: The Character and the Writer

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

HAWK AND A HANDSAW PAGE 7

http://adventuresinpulp.com/hawk-and-a-handsaw-week-7/

            I really like this page - both versions. This is a great example of why we need an editor: So the initial page rolls in. Looks great. Move along. Flash forward a few weeks, page nine has just gone up and Matt and I are talking about the page 10 twist (I'll elaborate more on that on page 10). Now, I'll just say it's a twist dependent on Baxter being straight-jacketed. Then I realize. "Oh, %#!+, Baxter has not been straight-jacketed for two pages." First I rush to my script to see if I screwed us by leaving it out. It was there, but I still felt like a dolt. You would think I would know the ins and outs of my own story to realize with the first glance that something was amiss. Nope. Not at all. Went right over my head. The artist has an out. He is focused one panel at a time, one page at a time, the writer should see the whole story. Think of it like a jigsaw puzzle. The artist is focusing on getting the colors and shapes to line up. The writer should see the big picture. I missed this one. Matt went back and fixed the panels (like most artists his art was abandoned instead of finished, so he used the opportunity to revise other things that had nothing to do with the straight-jacket incident). My only excuse was that so much time had passed since I wrote it. My first draft was back in June and my second draft in August. It was now December. In the interim I had written "Four Horsemen" and was hip deep in the full length "Saints and Sinners" for Top Cow. I will admit is a totally lame excuse. Matt stuck closest to the script than he had in pages (very minor variations not even worth the time to describe it). I should have seen it right away or at the very least I should have done what I do now and will forever do in the future... pull out the script. If you have been reading these commentaries you already know Matt and I have a pretty loose attitude about sticking to the script. As long as all the plot points are hit and the intent of the scene goes unchanged, then he has free reign, so naturally I don't go running for the script every time a page comes in because, to put it simply, they ain't gonna match. Now I run for the script. Not to nit pick or anything, but to make sure no little plot point slips through the cracks. Big lesson learned.

            Now story: Dr. Felicity finally comes face to face with a patient from "Hero Hall." I love the line about managing paranoia with medication. The ending panel is pretty strong I think. All in all, the point was to hammer home the feeling that Baxter is paranoid and delusional and I think we accomplished that. I'll have a few more comments but I want to save it for discussion after the page eight twist.

Vote for Adventures in Pulp titles at ComicMix!

Another two post day - to beg for your vote!

 

ComicMix: “Mix March Madness 2014″ is now taking votes for Best Online Comic. The first round of voting is underway and the top 128 (of over 300) will move on to the second round, which will then become single elimination. We have both of our completed "Adventure in Pulp" stories, “Dick Ruby” and “Hawk and A Handsaw,” up on the first round of balloting. Please go to www.comicmix.com and vote for us! E-mail friends and family and if you twitter or facebook mention it there as well.

 

Matt is working on getting a direct link to balloting at our site www.adventuresinpulp.com

 

Less is More, Part 2: Artist Unchained, Writer Playing Close to the Vest

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

HAWK AND A HANDSAW PAGE 6

http://adventuresinpulp.com/hawk-and-a-handsaw-week-6/

            Not a lot to tell on this one, as I said on the previous page, I wanted to let the visuals propel the narrative for this part of the story.  My script page was even more simple than what Matt came up with. He really kicks it out here making sure all the scripted beats were there but using the script as more of a guideline than scripture set in stone. Since it was so brief I'll just include it for you to compare.

Page 6 - Three panels.

PANEL 1

A nurse is outside Carlos' room looking at the door because she hears:

SFX: KRA-KOOM!

PANEL 2

She is in the doorway with the door open. The wall has been ripped away at the window.

PANEL 3

She is closer to the hole in the wall.  Carlos is in the air flying away (although at a glance it could look like falling)

             You'll notice in my script I was still playing it close to the vest for as long as I possibly could. Carlos could be falling or flying and we don't actually see him tear a hole in the wall, it could have been a lightening strike or something else. I love the look Matt puts on Carlos' face, a sheer look of joy, as well as putting the sound effect over the image of the institution which, as I mentioned back on page one, looks like an old horror film castle.

Less is More, Part 1: Letting the Visuals Move the Narrative

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

HAWK AND A HANDSAW PAGE 5

http://adventuresinpulp.com/hawk-and-a-handsaw-week-5-2/

            So everything was set up now and it was past time to get moving. While I deliberately over wrote most of the narration and dialogue for both stories to date to give them a pulpy feel, I thought it was time to step back and let the images carry the narrative as we shift to Carlos' portion of the story. It's a great introduction as we get our first look at an institutionalized Carlos. Matt's red color scheme was a brilliant. It's like the room is Carlos' own personal hell. Matt's been critical of his coloring in his commentaries, but I like it a lot. The cool purple-ish grays and sickly greens in the hall sequences contrast nicely with the nightmare reds and oranges of the patient rooms. Originally scripted as only six panels, Matt added in two more. The first view of Carlos' face was added in and gives us insight as to how he was feeling before the "Demon's Eye" bracelet is activated. The bracelet as we see it here is not much more than a curiosity. We don't explain until later what it is, but clearly it either gives Carlos his powers back or does something to the bars to make him think his powers are back. My last scripted panel, Matt wisely split into two panels. By giving us an extra panel that zoomed in on Carlos' face, he really heightened the impact.

"So This Has Been a Ruse?"

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

HAWK AND A HANDSAW PAGE 4

http://adventuresinpulp.com/731/

            So we follow up the third page revelation that Dr. Felicity has not been honest. No major variations here, it is pretty much as scripted. You'll note that the stuttering dialogue has vanished since she has dropped the timid act and her relationship with Dr. Peters has shifted. She's in the driver's seat while he is less arrogant and snide. Matt absolutely nailed Dr. Peter's expression on panel two. The look on his face is just so beaten, it's one of my favorite panels in the story because of the emotion. You actually feel bad for him even though he was so condescending just a page earlier.

            I planted some seeds that would grow much further down the line.

            The name William Watson was a play on Billy Batson. Same trick as Bayne and Wayne. Then just expanded Billy to William (for the alliteration). Commander Miracle is obviously our tip of the cap to the original Captain Marvel. I loved how Matt's kid drawing turned out and the color contrast really makes it pop.

            We have everything set up now and even threw in a fun twist by confounding character expectations, I knew it was time to get moving. Origins aside, so far it has been two characters standing in a hall gabbing...

"What are you, man?" "I'm Bat-er-um-Knight Hawk" (aka Bronze Age Comics and Blaxploitation Films - How Denny O'Neil and Pam Grier Influenced "Hawk and a Handsaw")

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

HAWK AND A HANDSAW PAGE 3

http://adventuresinpulp.com/hawk-and-a-handsaw-page-3/

            Again this is a pretty straightforward continuation of page two. We introduce Knight Hawk, our satire of Batman. Just as I knew I wanted a Latino for El Supremo, I knew from the beginning that I wanted a black man under the Knight Hawk mask. Minorities have mostly gotten the shaft when it comes to comics. Most of the iconic characters were created pre-civil rights so the most enduring characters have been white men. Post civil rights, particularly in the '70s the big two did make efforts to change that. At Marvel we had the introduction of Power Man, The Falcon,  Black Panther and the Latino hero White Tiger while, across town, DC put a Green Lantern ring on the finger of John Stewart. In cinema we had more minority casting and even the evolution of blaxploitation films. Pulp novels (regardless of genre) overall fared even worse with minorities being relegated to villain status (Mr. Big or Thulsa Doom, anyone?). As I said in my page one commentary, the vibe of this particular tale was a mash up of bronze age comics and blaxsploitation films, so I wanted, I needed our titular heroes to be minorities. I started reading comics during the bronze age so part of my love for that era is nostalgia, but I also think that's when comics really grew up. Most people may point to "The Watchmen" or "The Dark Knight Returns" the following decade as the turning point of the maturation of comics, but in my mind it was Denny O'Neil's work on "Green Lantern" that turned that page. Comics ceased to be kid's only fare (although not yet "graphic novel") because in spite of the colorful costumes, there were morality plays, themes, ideas and ideals being bandied about. Comics were no longer disposable entertainment but actual full color literature that had something to say about people and society. Sure, comics got more mature (even with "adult only" books flooding the mainstream market) but Denny's work was an example of all ages reading. Sophisticated enough for adults but nothing you would want to hide from your kids (rather the opposite, I dare say). The blaxploitation genre is something I discovered a few years ago. Low budget films of the '70s starring black actors aimed at a black audiences to make a pile of green. Like all exploitation films there was gratuitous violence and sex, but I must confess what got me loving the genre were the plot twists. Unlike the big budget films, I think writers and directors were left alone and they did daring unexpected stuff. Stuff you would never see coming and, despite the cheapness, a lot of it still holds up (dated fashions aside). If you don't believe me look at Quentin Tarantino's films. They are basically big budget exploitation films. Remember when the "gimp" got out of his box in "Pulp Fiction?" Those are the kind of twists I'm talking about. "Blackula" is still a good classic vampire film (certainly no sparkly, broody twenty-somethings here) certainly as good as the classic Hammer horror films. "Coffy" is an fantastic revenge flick (I'm sorry but Pam Grier is a Goddess, pure and simple). Some films like "Foxy Brown" even veer into self parody. There is some very good overlooked stuff there.

            Page three, like the last page, is all about the origin which was also originally scripted to be a single "large central panel that bleeds multiple images together" and again, Matt repeated his look from page two, which makes for a nice consistency. Like a song, the music is the same but the lyrics are a little different. I also decided to switch up the characters a little and instead of having the child be the lone survivor, I chose to have the father narrowly escape death to become the tragic hero. As a parent let me say, the worst thing in the world that could ever happen is for a parent to outlive their child.  The origin, again, is the primary point of the page, but the continued conversation between Dr. Peters and Dr. Felicity takes us on our first big turn as we learn that Dr. Felicity is not as much the "wide eyed ingenue" as we lead you to believe on the first two pages.

            I also give a shout out to the late great Carmine Infantino. Carmine had passed just a few months prior to my scripting this story and his work in the industry (particularly on "The Flash" including the classic #123 "Flash or Two Worlds" issue) is beloved by fans and creators alike.

 

I Must Have Taken a Wrong Turn in Albuquerque (aka Xenon is South of Krypton)

ADVENTURES IN PULP WRITER'S COMMENTARY

HAWK AND A HANDSAW PAGE 2
http://adventuresinpulp.com/hawk-and-a-handsaw-page-2/

            This is a pretty straightforward continuation of page one. We introduce El Supremo, our satire of Superman. I knew from the beginning that I wanted a Latino in the Superman role as a commentary on the illegal alien aspect. I have always found it funny that one of the great symbols of  American pop culture and Americana is Superman - an illegal alien. Literally. The origin as originally scripted was going to be a single "large central panel that bleeds multiple images together" but Matt did a neat thing separating the images but weaving them like piece of cloth or a film strip across the page. While the origin is the primary point of the page, the continued conversation between Dr. Peters and Dr. Felicity set up an important future plot point, as well as cements their characters' personalities.

            I also managed to work in both name gags onto this page. Carlos Cabrera and Baxter Bayne our send ups of Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne. The alliteration is intentional, like so many of Stan Lee's comic book creations. I'll admit my naming gags can get complicated (I do have to amuse myself). Anyone who follows me on twitter knows my son got me into baseball, so I wanted a Latino last name that sounded like Kent. I went with Venezuelan Triple Crown winner Miguel Cabrera. I chose Carlos simply because they sounded good together.  While with the other name I just went through substituting other letters in place of the W in Wayne. B just sounded best and I picked Baxter because of the Fantastic Four's Baxter Building (and the alliteration). I admit I almost went with Virgil Vayne,  Zack Zayne, or Carl Cayne. but they all sounded too European sounding). I like the end note which sets up the next page nicely.