Well that was real mature...

Well that was real mature...

Saturday, March 12, 2022

Cobblers, Elves and Gravity: Are People "Efficient" or Dishonest?

 Some posts on social media have reminded me of a story.

There was a little old man who was a cobbler and one day his nephews were in need of shoe repair, so they paid a visit to their uncle. They loved their uncle and there was no better cobbler in the town. He knew how to fix a shoe, but sadly not much else. He would wax philosophical about how wind was the product of ghosts flying around overhead, or that the night sky was a worn-out blanket and the stars where the light from the glowing angels who pull the blanket over the Earth shining through the tiny holes in the fabric.

As he worked on his nephews’ shoes, he accidently nudged his hammer and it fell to the ground. He quickly snatched it back up and yelled toward the ground, “You won’t be stealin’ me hammer today, ya rotten elf.”

The nephews exchanged a look, then one asked, “What do you mean by that, uncle?”

“The reasons things fall to the ground is because there is an elf that lives under the grass using his mental powers to pull it to the ground. If it stays there too long, he will steal it when yer not lookin’.”

The other nephew who was a student at university, tried to explain the concept of gravity to his uncle but the cobbler would have none of it. “Yer too smart fer yer own good, he said, sometimes simple wisdom is the best instead of fancy exaggerated complicated ideas they be puttin’ in yer noggin,” the cobbler said.

They tried and tried to explain, the harder they tried the more uncle refused to listen to rationality. Finally, the cobbler stood and said, “I’ll prove it to ya, I’ll let go o’ this hammer and the elf will use his magic powers to make it fall to the ground.”

The cobbler reached out and let go of the hammer and, indeed, like he said it would, it dropped to the ground.

“See there lads, I told ye so,” the cobbler bragged as he snatched the hammer back up from the ground, “You have to admit I was right, that wee little elf yanked it right flat to the ground. Yer playing the fool ifun ya can’t see that I just proved I was right”

The nephews tried to argue, but the cobbler held firm, “Do ye not believe yer own eyes? Ye saw the hammer fall! Clearly, I’m right!” They continued to try to explain gravity, but the cobbler said, “Yer not gonna brainwash me inta believing the witchcraft like they did you in that fancy school o’ yourn.”

He handed them their shoes, “Here ya go, no charge fer family, tell yer father I’ll see him at church and please, please don’t test the elf ‘cause he be snatchin’ yer goods if yer not careful.”


Now if we analyze this story, there are two options here: Either the cobbler had and issue with Sir Isaac Newton or one of the teachers at the university and wanted to undercut the science of gravity by deliberately putting out misinformation which would make him a blatant liar or he was just ignorant and would not listen to facts because he let his personal bias for believing in elves override demonstrable science and fact. But it wasn’t just the stupidity of believing in elves it was the arrogance of “proving it” with faulty data. He started with the result and worked his way back to what he wanted to believe instead of the other way around.

The story reminds me of a quote from my favorite tv show: “Ah, arrogance and stupidity all in the same package. How efficient of you.”

It used to be a funny line but now, I find it prophetic. In the current age of misinformation, we are inundated with people spreading information that is not true. I have been saying, since the start, that it’s hard to build bridges when there are two types of people who spread misinformation: Those who don’t know it’s false and those who don’t care. One is an issue of intelligence and the other is an issue of honesty. It’s hard to get to a point of compromise or discussion when the person you are dealing with is someone who is either not intelligent enough to understand the situation or simply lying.

It was such an issue I devoted blog to it years ago when I pulled apart a fact free meme about immigration. I was hoping that people I like who were posting hateful and false information would start checking stuff out before sharing things that were not only hurtful but created backlash and perpetuated violence against others. You  can read it here: 

http://brettharriscomics.blogspot.com/2017/10/facts-matter-disecting-fact-free-post.html

“If you want to open a dialogue or reach middle ground with others, maybe you should start with a position that doesn’t call someone stupid. That might help,” you may say. Yea, but the alternative is that I assume they know better and are deliberately lying.

“Then maybe you should give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they think they are telling the truth.” I could, but even if I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are not just “party over country” hacks who are lying purely for political reasons, then I still must stop and wonder about their basic intelligence. 

“Not necessarily, smart people can be conned, tricked, and bamboozled.” Yes, they can, anyone can get tricked or duped, but when people *repeatedly* share stuff without checking it out first, especially in a time when misinformation is rampant, then there has to be more going on that just simple stupidity: It’s stupidity and arrogance wrapped in the same package.

The cobbler in the story was, as the quote went, “efficient.”

I’m seeing a lot of efficiency in on the social media feeds these days. People professing they were right but not for the reason they espoused.

Not long after the 2020 election, lists of “predictions” were posted (probably composed by a Russian troll) and then copied and pasted by Trump supporters on social media over and over. It was insanely fact free, and I saw it with such frequency that I did a blog picking apart every erroneous statement (ie ALL of them). My personal favorite, for example, was the claim “North Korea has been under control and has not been testing any missiles.” In fact, under Trump’s four years they had 32 missile tests compared to 7 in eight years under Obama. It was rife with this kind of misinformation. You can read the whole thing and my response here: 


I took great care to back up my positions with links to a variety of sources left, right, center and neutral, just so no one could dismiss the totality of the response as being liberally bias.

In addition to being rife with misinformation the original post was sneaky.

Two of the points it tried to make were about 1) gas prices and 2) interest rates, implying they were low because of Trump’s great success, and they would go up because of Biden’s failure. Neither is true but it was brilliantly deceptive, if you are dealing with someone who is not that bright.

Because of the COVID pandemic lockdown, the economy was in free fall and is typical for either political party during bad economic times, the Federal Reserve cut the interest rates. They were cut to .01%, the lowest ever.

While they have not gone up yet, my obvious prediction is that as the economy recovers (possibly sooner rather than later to slow the rate of inflation), interest rates will go back up and political hacks will try to blame Biden. I don’t say this to prove I’m smart, I say it because it’s so blindingly obvious that even an English major can see the mathematical/financial writing on the wall.

The same with gas and oil. Because of the lockdown people traveled less and lowered demand. As is typical in a “supply and demand” capitalist economy, the price dropped and manufactures slowed production. It had nothing to do with Trump. It was a global phenomenon. Oil on the international market dropped below ZERO dollars a barrel for the first time ever.

Anyone with a brain in their head could predict oil and gas prices would go up, hell, it had nowhere to go but up, it was like saying water was wet.

Oil prices have also been exacerbated by Putin’s actions in the Ukraine, driving those same barrels of oil to hundreds of dollars and continuing to climb.

There are also calls for investigations into price gouging as oil companies continue to make record profits in the face of rising prices. 


In spite of the stupid little ""I did that!" stickers, it's not a Biden issue, it's a global one.


The original writer who was clearly a partisan hack/liar and used this obvious fact and twisted it to make it look like low prices were Trump’s success and when prices would go up as lockdowns and travel restrictions ended, it would look like Biden’s failure. 

One can manipulate a truth to create a lie. Memes have appeared with the price of gas during the lockdown with Trump's name and the price of gas now with Biden's name. It's technically correct, but doing that without the proper context is the same as telling a blatant lie.

Let me say that again for the slow kids in the back: Putting out technically correct information but doing so in a misleading way without context is the same as lying.

They are doing the same thing with supply chain issues resulted the highest inflation since Reagan (Remember Reagan? The guy they love, inflation under him is good, but under the other party it's bad). Trying to place blame Biden for something that is intrinsically a flaw in capitalism and a direct result of the pandemic is either showing a lack of intelligence or a lack of integrity.

Now you have Trump supporters posting memes or saying, “I was right. Gas prices went up.” 

Yea, they were right, just like the cobbler was right about the elf.

The hammer fell just a s gas prices predictably went up, but *neither* is for the reason espoused… 

So, the question is, again: do I assume the people posting memes and bragging about being right are liars who are putting party above country (or reality) or are they just being…well... efficient?

Monday, March 7, 2022

10 Television Shows to Know Me

Recently on Twitter the topic of “Ten Shows to Know Me” trended. Rather than make a list I wanted to expand on it as a recommendation for some excellent tv viewing. It is sci-fi heavy but it also has some classic and obscure gems worth checking out.


Honorable Mention: Homicide: Life on the Streets (1993-2000) Hands down the best police procedural of all time. Based on Baltimore Sun reporter David Simon’s non-fiction book and a creative staff that led St. Elsewhere’s Tom Fontana, the writing was some of the sharpest on broadcast television when it aired for seven seasons on NBC from 1993-1999. The 122 episodes and a TV movie in 2000 and laid the creative groundwork for HBO’s Oz (1997-2003) and The Wire (2002-2008) and was a showcase for some of the best actors and directors working in film and theatre. As of this writing it is not streaming on any service. 

Before moving on to the list of 10, I want to point out nine other shows considered for the Honorable Mention slot and would make an expanded top 20 list include (in no particular order): The West Wing (1999-2006), which was really really neck and neck with Homicide. Hands down the smartest show ever made. Picket Fences (1992-1996), Boston Legal (2004-2008), L.A. Law (1986-1994, 2002), Moonlighting (1985-1989), The Andy Griffith Show (1960-1968), The Twilight Zone (1959-64), Battlestar Galactica (1979-1980), and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (2008-2009). 

Now on to the top ten...
 


10. 
Tales of the Gold Monkey (1982-1983) This ABC series created by Donald Bellisario (Magnum, P.I., JAG, NCIS) was axed after a single season after being unfairly deemed a rip-off of Raiders of the Lost Ark (it was really inspired by a 1939 Howard Hawks film starring Cary Grant called Only Angels Have Wings). Set in 1938 in the South Pacific, it starred Stephen Collins as an ex-volunteer fighter pilot, his one eye dog and alcoholic mechanic as they team up with a U.S. spy and a bar owner with a murky past for adventures. Sometimes they come into conflict with (or even, to their surprise, get aid from) a Nazi posing as a priest, a Japanese princess and her Bushido bodyguard but most of the time it was just rip-roaring fun and adventure with a fantastic cast, rich characters, and a great sense of humor. 21 episodes were made (a two-hour pilot movie followed by 20 one-hour episodes). As of this writing it is not streaming on any service. In the late 80s two of the episodes (“Shanghaied!” And “Trunk from the Past”) were reedited into a tv movie and sold in syndication under the title Curse at the Gold Monkey. 



9. Quantum Leap
(1989-1993) Another series by Don Bellisario. At first glance the premise about a time traveler leaping into the bodies of others to fix recent history with the aid of a hologram seems complicated but it works well. As the NBC show first described itself in the original narration: “Theorizing that one could time-travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett (Scott Bakula) led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top-secret project known as Quantum Leap. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Dr. Beckett prematurely stepped into the project accelerator, and vanished... He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own time was maintained through brain-wave transmissions with Al (Dean Stockwell), the project observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Dr. Beckett can see and hear. Trapped in the past, Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, put things right that once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next Leap will be the Leap home.” The premise was flexible enough to give a great range of shows, each week you could tune in and either get a drama, a comedy, an action-adventure episode or straight sci-fi. The charm, chemistry and likeability of the starring duo was the heart of the show while its diverse storytelling was what kept it sustainable for five seasons and 95 episodes (a two-hour pilot followed by 93 one-hour episodes and a two-hour episode). As of this writing it is currently streaming on the Roku Channel and being broadcast on Comet TV and Peacock has commissioned a pilot movie for a reboot/sequel with Bellisario’s input. 



8. St. Elsewhere (1982-1988) This brilliant NBC medical series did for drama what M*A*S*H* did for sit-coms: It tore down walls between genres. Not only was the drama expertly written and performed it could also be equally comical. The plots, the characterizations, themes, and jokes are all pitch perfect. It was a critical darling that never did well in the ratings but still managed to run six seasons and 137 episodes and racked up 106 award nominations in the areas of writing, direction and acting. It launched the careers of Howie Mandel, David Morse, Mark Harmon, Bruce Greenwood, Ed Begley, Jr., and Denzel Washington and garnered awards for veteran actors like William Daniels, Bonnie Bartlett and Ed Flanders. As of this writing it is currently streaming on Hulu. 


7. Due South
(1994-1999) This Canadian series that aired for three seasons in America (two on CBS and one in first run syndication) is hard to define. Is it a crime drama or a fish out of water comedy? Is it an odd couple satire or family adventure? Is all the above? The series was created by Paul Haggis (writer/director of the Academy Award winner Crash) and ran for 66 episodes (a two-hour pilot followed by 64 one-hour episodes and a two-hour episode). The show follows a Canadian Mounty (Paul Gross) and his deaf wolf as they go to Chicago on the trail of the killers of the Mountie’s father and, after the pilot, remained, attached as liaison with the Canadian Consulate to help the Chicago police department on cases. The comedy can range from slapstick to word play and the drama can hit hard and regardless of the tone, the cast hits it out of the park every time. Wildly popular in its native Canada it was thrice canceled in the U.S which is almost enough to make me want to renounce my citizenship and take up curling. 


6. Firefly (2002) The short-lived sci-fi western was killed by Fox after only a two-hour pilot and 13 one-hour episodes were filmed (some not even aired) but the show exploded on home video and frequently makes many people’s wish list of shows that need to be brought back. Series creator Joss Whedon (Marvel’s The Avengers) did manage to give some closure to fans by making a motion picture follow-up, Serenity, in 2005. The show followed a defeated war veteran (Nathan Fillion, who was frequently compared to Harrison Ford) who commands a small ship and crew trying to eke out an existence on the edge of known space. Sometimes taking legitimate jobs and sometimes resorting to crime, the crew is constantly trying to evade the totalitarian Alliance who are searching for two fugitive members of the crew. As of this writing the show is streaming on Hulu and Disney+ is reportedly developing a reboot without Whedon. 


5. Alien Nation (1989-1990, 1994-1997) This science fiction allegory for race relations was based on the 1988 feature film. The series, developed by Kenneth Johnson (V, The Incredible Hulk, The Bionic Woman), focused on a quarter of a million aliens trying to integrate to our society five years after their ship crashed on Earth. Over the course of the show. a human police detective (Gary Graham) must deal with his feelings of bigotry when he is paired with the first alien promoted to detective (Eric Pierpoint) and his new alien neighbor (Teri Treas) moves in next door. The racial tensions flare as they investigate cases (some taking odd twists due to alien involvement) leading to drama and action, but the heart of the show is the often-comical way we see the clash of cultures. Johnson’s writing staff lay plenty of the comically absurd tropes on the audience revealing that once we strip away the silly differences, we are more alike than not. The cast is wonderful managing the comedy and the drama with equal aplome. The show ran for 27 total episodes. The show was initially canceled after one season on a cliffhanger after 22 episodes (a two-hour pilot and 21 one-hour episodes) but returned half a decade later for five more two-hour episodes/made for tv movies parceled out over three more seasons. It made TV Guide’s list of shows cancelled too soon. As of this writing the first season is streaming on Tubi. 


4. Farscape
(1999-2004) The sci-fi adventure series was Brian Henson’s attempt to expand his father’s legacy by showing they can do something more complex and mature than just Muppets. He succeeded in spades. Conceived with Rockne S. O’Bannon (Alien Nation feature film) and with a writer’s room led by David Kemper the show mixed drama and the wackiest elements of sci-fi for a show that was both visually and thematically unique despite its pedestrian premise. The series follows an astronaut (Ben Browder) who is shot though a wormhole and lost in space. He takes up with a group of escaped alien prisoners who are evading the brutal “Peacekeeper” regime. While show starts out as stand-alone episodes it becomes more serialized as it progressed. Admittedly, it was hit and miss at first, but partway through season two the main character invokes the name of “Buffy, the Vampire Salyer” and like Billy Batson yelling “Shazam!” the show was transformed. They knew what they needed to be tonally: A sci-fi Buffy that blends humor and pathos, at that point the show took off and never looked back. The puppet characters are every bit as three dimensional as the real-life actors and while Ben Browder plays a more intellectual hero, he still shines with charm and charisma. Farscape ran for four seasons (88 one-hour episodes) and ended on a cliffhanger in 2003 when Sci-Fi Channel canceled it after reneging on a fifth and final season. A year later a mini-series consisting of 2 two-hour episodes were made to wrap up the story. As of this writing it is being broadcast on Comet TV (unfortunately season 1-3 are cropped to widescreen and season one is heavily edited since the show was a joint venture with Australian television which has less commercials and ran 5 minutes longer than US shows) and as of this writing it is streaming on Amazon Prime. 


3. Buffy, The Vampire Salyer
(1997-2003) and Angel (1999-2004) Yes, I’m cheating by combining shows with their spin offs, get over it, I’m going it in the next two entries as well. Unhappy with the interpretation of his 1992 feature film script by Fran Rubel Kuzui, Joss Whedon adapted his creation to television. It ran for seven seasons and 143 episodes (142 one-hour episodes and 1 two-hour episode) across two networks (The WB and UPN) and developed a cult following. Whedon blends comedy, horror and drama seamlessly from the idea that hell and monsters are a great allegory for high school and teenagers as it follows high school girl Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Geller), the chosen one with a destiny to save the world by ridding it of demons and vampires. Strong characters highlight this series that not afraid to embrace the silly or darkest of the dark. The same can be said for the spin-off, Angel, which follows the title character (David Boreanaz), a vampire with a soul, as he searches for redemption by fighting the forces of evil. Angel ran five seasons (110 one-hour episodes) on The WB. Both shows made use of the season long story arcs which was less risky than J. Michael Straczynski’s five-year arc and become a stable of many series with the advent of streaming. As of this writing both shows are available on Hulu. 


2. The Star Trek franchise
(1966 to present) When Star Trek first premiered on NBC in 1966 it was mostly a failure. Not until man walked on the moon did the show find its cult audience while it was in syndicated reruns in the 70’s. Gene Roddenberry’s stories about a multi-ethnic crew exploring space in the far future gave him room to tell great stories that were allegorical to our society. With just 80 episodes, the characters of the original series have become so woven into our popular culture that would be hard pressed to find some who did not know Kirk, Spock, Scotty, Uhura or Sulu even if they never watched the show. The cult status of the original series allowed for an animated revival in 1973-1974 (consisting of 22 episodes that are far and away better than most cartoons of the era) six movies (1979-1991) and a trilogy of reboot films (2009-2016) but it was the sequel series Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994) that broke out and made Trek mainstream. It took
 place on a new starship almost century later the new crew became the top show in first run syndication and ran for seven seasons consisting of 176 episodes (174 one-hour episodes and 2 two-hour episodes) and four feature films (1994-2002). 

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993-1999) was panned by critics as too dark but it’s possibly my favorite as it combines the best elements of the two predecessors and disregards the worst. It ran for seven seasons and 173 episodes (170 one-hour and 3 two-hour) in first run syndication and was based on a space station near a wormhole leading to the other side of the galaxy. I suspect the attitude toward the show had more to do with the fact it was never on by itself. It ran concurrently with the last two seasons of Next Generation and the first five season of its successor, speaking of which… 

Star Trek: Voyager (1995-2001) launched the UPN network and was always entertaining but lacked some of the punch of its predecessors. It had a solid cast and great production values. It ran seven seasons of 168 episodes (164 one-hour and 4 two-hour) and focused on a spaceship accidently transported across the galaxy trying to make its way home. 

The next in the franchise was Star Trek: Enterprise (2001-2005). A prequel set about a century before the original series. It ran for four seasons and 97 episodes (a two-hour primer followed by 96 one-hour episodes) on UPN. An excellent cast highlighted a show that frequently suffered from recycled Trek concepts its first two seasons but finally broke the mold with the franchise's first season long story arc in season three. The show would again change formats is final year with a series of multi episode arcs. Both of the latter seasons were great, but the franchise had lost too many viewers and Trek would take 12-year hiatus from the small screen. 

Trek returned to tv on the streaming platform CBS All Access (recently rebranded Paramount+) with Star Trek: Discovery in 2017. Set just before the original series, the show suffered from horrid continuity and inconsistent and unlikeable characters, but it did boast stunning feature quality production values. Attempts were made to adjust course in season two but continued to suffer from not having the “feel” of Trek. Finally, in season three it started clicking when the ship and crew were transported one thousand years into the future after the fall off the Federation. The moral core of the characters were nudged to the more optimistic side. Even when it was flailing in the early seasons, Discovery did excel at what Trek has traditionally done right. Representation of minorities. Just has the original series had an Asian man and black woman in the cast at the same time the country was enduring a war in Viet Nam and Civil Rights marches in our streets, Discovery has a gay couple and a non-binary character. Season four is currently airing and continues the trend of improvement from the third season. At the end of the season they will have completed 55 episodes and it has already been renewed for a ten-episode fifth season next year. 

Delays in production lead to two short seasons of Short Treks (2018-2020), an anthology consisting of ten mini-episodes with a run time of 8-18 minutes. These are fantastic little gems. Ranging from dramatic to comedic they are not constrained by any single style or genre, one episode was even used as backstory and set up for Paramount+'s next series, speaking of which... 

Star Trek: Picard, (2020 to present) is a follow up to Star Trek: The Next Generation focusing on the retired captain from that series and his quest to solve a mystery left in the wake of a long dead comrade. It was fun to see new stories starring the brilliant Patrick Stewart, but some of the characterizations seemed inconsistent with what was established twenty years earlier. Again, the cast and production values are superb, but there are too many moments where I can’t help but scratch my head and think “I don’t think that character would do that.” The first season of 10 episodes aired in 2020 and the ten-episode season two began March 3 and a 10 episode third season has recently wrapped production. 

Paramount+ continues to try to broaden the appeal of Star Trek with two new animated series. First with Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020 to present) an adult comedy focused on four junior officers on a mid-level ship. Set shortly after the Next Generation/DS9/Voyager era, the series is fun and funny but frequently suffers from being too self-aware. The lines the characters speak seem like something someone watching the show would say as opposed to someone living in the universe would say, although season two improved on that. Two seasons have aired a total of 20 episodes with season three scheduled to air late in 2022 and season four already in production for 2023.  The other animated series, Star Trek: Prodigy, is an action series aimed at kids and made in coordination with Nickelodeon. The first season premiered in October and will continue later in 2022 with a total of 20 episodes and season two is already in production. While aimed at kids, this really is a wonderful little series that adult fans can enjoy as well. A group of young aliens escape enslavement from a mining colony when they discover an abandoned starship. Mentored by a holographic tutor who mistakes the escapees for cadets in training, they are learning the values of the Star Trek society as they try to reach freedom. This show does the most important thing a kid’s show can do: It never writes down to the kids. Prodigy is also set after the Next Generation/DS9/Voyager era. The two shows have very different animation styles. Lower Decks is more of a Rick and Morty style while Prodigy is like the computer animation Star Wars: The Clone Wars. 

The next new series, Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, spins out of the second season of Discovery which featured re-cast characters from the original 1964 Star Trek pilot (“The Cage” and later the footage was recycled into the two-part 1966 episode “The Menagerie” and used as a flash back to approximately a decade prior to the beginning of the original series). The ten episode first season is set to debut on May 5th. Filming on season two is scheduled start before it even airs. It’s another prequel that is supposed to explore the time and crew of the Enterprise between the events of the original pilot and the first season of the original series. My hopes are high, but yet another recasting of the classic characters after the reboot films and painful continuity issues from the first two seasons of Discovery have me nervous, but Anson Mount’s likable and earnest performance as Christopher Pike (originally played by Jeffrey Hunter) will certainly be a draw. All the Star Trek series are streaming on Paramount+ and the original series is airing on ME-TV and Heroes & Icons. 


1. Babylon 5
(1993-1999, 2002 and 2007)) Frequently dismissed as a low budget Star Trek rip-off, Babylon 5 did what no other American show had ever attempted: Execute a series with a preplanned five-year arc. Most shows, up until then, were a series of stand-alone episodes or they were serialized but the writers were making it up as they went along. Creator J. Michael Straczynski decided that he would outline the show like a novel. Amazingly, not only did he get it made but recently he was asked to do it again when The CW approached him about re-booting his sci-fi epic about a diplomatic space station deep in neutral space. The original pilot movie debuted in 1993 in the Warner Bros. first run syndication package called the “Prime Time Entertainment Network,” the following year the run started in earnest. It was a low budget show, the sets were cheap, the guest actors uneven and the SFX were the first time any series had been done completely computer generated. However, the main cast was strong and getting stronger, the make-up was amazing, and the stories kept building, going from appearing to be stand alone to very interconnected. Plot points were set up and sometimes paid off months or even years later. Regular viewers were rewarded with foreshadowing and repeat viewings rewarded with events or dialogue that seemed like texture but then turned out to crucial later. It was a unique television experience that has not yet been duplicated. The ax seemed to be looming during year four. Not because of quality. Each season improved over the previous and it had hit an intensity in seasons three and four that were amazing, but PTEN was going away and all its shows with it. TNT network stepped in and picked up the show for its final season and commissioned a spin-off called Crusade, with a new five-year story set in the same universe. 

Straczynski and the TNT clashed over the direction of the show and TNT cancelled the series before it was aired during the summer of 1999. Despite the network interference, Crusade was still a very good show (in fact I would say the episodes are better than the first 13 episodes of Babylon 5) and the essential premise was that a crew of an experimental spaceship were searching for a manufactured plague that was visited on Earth by its enemies was a great way into a new story arc. 

Sci-Fi Channel commissioned pilot for another spin off for 2001 and Straczynski created Babylon 5: Legends of the Rangers. Set to air in September it was delayed because of 9-11 and in 2002 the pilot aired to disappointing ratings, so the show about a small beat-up ship manned by human and alien Rangers tasked with keeping the interstellar peace, was never produced. Again, the pilot, while not perfect, was stronger than the original Babylon 5 pilot and would have made a good show. 

Finally, in 2007 Warner Bros. Home Video wanted Straczynski to make a direct to video Babylon 5 follow-up series. The result of Babylon 5: The Lost Tales. It was extremely low budget, but very well acted and written. Warner Bros. wanted more but Straczysnki was disappointed, so it was the last Babylon 5 universe projects leaving fans with a total of 130 installments (a two-hour pilot followed by 110 one-hour episodes and 4 two-hour episodes, 13 one-hour episodes of Crusade, The Legend of the Rangers pilot movie, and The Lost Tales movie). Now there is a possibility of a re-boot by the original creator. As of this writing 111 episodes (the pilot movie and 110 one-hour episodes) are streaming on HBOMax.


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Thursday, November 25, 2021

Reflecting on Babylon 5's Crusade (or Rearranging the Chairs on the Deck of the Titanic)

With the reboot of Babylon 5 on the horizon for a possible debut in Fall of 2022.  I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the failed attempts to expand the original universe back in the day. In 2007 Babylon 5: The Lost Tales was an attempt to do direct to home video stories, but the home video market was in flux and creator J. Michael Straczynski was disappointed with the outcome and didn’t want to do anymore low budget revivals. In 2002 SciFi Channel attempted a spin off series called Babylon 5: Legend of the Rangers. Set three years after the original five-year arc and focused on a misfit crew of Rangers on beat up ship. The pilot movie, “To Live and Die in Starlight,” was well cast with great characters and had potential. Sure, it had a few missteps here and there, but it was a stronger pilot than its original parent series had almost a decade earlier.

And then there was 1999’s Crusade.

Plagued by network interference that led to it being cancelled prior to the first episode being broadcast, it has created a very mixed response from fans. I’m a fan that loves the show. It was extremely well cast. The characters were compelling. The basic premise of a prototype spaceship looking for the cure to a plague that was deliberately visited on Earth by its enemies was an interesting hook. Some people hated the premise, but most fans knew it was just a way to get into the new five-year arc. We know it would change drastically since we saw in the series finale of Babylon 5, which was set 14 years after the events of Crusade, that Earth is doing just fine. Even the creator said the plague would be cured during season two, and that the main thrust of the story would revolve around the dark discoveries made while in search for the cure.

Crusade was set up by “A Call to Arms,” the last tv movie made during the fifth and final season of Babylon 5, and I maintain that if you take that “pilot” movie and the thirteen episodes produced and compare them to the original Babylon 5 pilot, “The Gathering,” and it’s first 13 filmed episodes, then Crusade, even with all the network interference, stands taller than its processor and is full of more potential.

Crusade star Gary Cole as Capt. Gideon

Babylon 5 has been a tough sell to fans for years. Initially dismissed as a low budget Star Trek rip off, only the very literary sci-fi fans seemed to embrace the show and that was because of its promise of a novel for television with a pre-planned story arc. Creatively there were stumbles but overall, it achieved its goal. The result was fantastic to anyone who had stuck with it.

It was the little space station that could.

Since Straczynski had done the impossible, he was going to try it again. I think Crusade would have been even better. He had done it once and learned a lot. With this second story he could apply what he had learned and craft a better story. But alas, TNT had other ideas. While initially thrilled with Babylon 5 ratings (they showed the first re-runs as well as the first broadcast of season 5), they realized the show was not growing an audience. The Babylon 5 viewers that tuned in did not stick around for their other shows and the regular viewers tuned out when Babylon 5 was on. However, they realized this too late, they had already committed to Crusade.

A lot of things happened behind the scenes that disrupted production and eventually led to its stillborn debut. If you are interested, you can read about it in Straczynski’s autobiography Becoming Superman. The behind-the-scenes debate is not what this blog is about.

It’s about the nerdiest of the nerdy. A recommended viewing order for new viewers of Crusade.

Periodically, Babylon 5 finds its way to new viewers. This year it popped up on HBOMax, last year it was running on Comet TV, prior to that it was on Amazon Prime. Sometimes the pilot movie is included, but the four tv movies that were filmed during seasons 4 and 5 are usually not, nor is the Legend of the Rangers pilot, The Lost Tales or Crusade. The fans that stick with it and get hooked (and if you stick with it, you will get hooked) eventually go searching out the movies and Crusade on DVD. But the behind-the-scenes drama resulted in a sometimes-confusing watchlist.

Here is the “Original Broadcast/DVD” order of the episodes (the numbers in parenthesis are the production order):

00. A Call to Arms
01. War Zone (108)
02. The Long Road (107)
03. The Well of Forever (106)
04. The Path of Sorrows (109)
05. Patterns of the Soul (110)
06. Ruling from the Tomb (111)
07. The Rules of the Game (112)
08. Appearances and Other Deceits (113)
09. Racing the Night (103)
10. The Memory of War (102)
11. The Needs of Earth (101)
12. Visitors from Down the Street (104)
13. Each Night I Dream of Home (105)

This order is NOT recommended by fans even those of us who watched it unfold in this order over three months in the summer of 1999. Here is a little back story on production without getting into too much of the tall grass of the behind-the-scenes drama.

Matheson (Daniel Day Kim) & Gideon in the original costumes.

The first five produced episodes (101-105) were intended to be the first five broadcast but ended up being the last five. TNT put the show on production hiatus after the first five episodes and requested changes including replacing the stiff gray uniforms with new more comfortable looking black costumes. However, they also mandated a new first episode WITH the new costumes. The show went back to filming with two completed scripts (106-107) while a new series opener was created (108), then filming continued (109-112) while an episode was created to explain the costume changes (113) another episode was set to be filmed that would explain the change back (114). At this point the plan was to air the new premier (108) a couple of episodes including the episode explaining the uniform changes (107 and 113) then the “first five” with the original gray uniforms (101-105) then the episode explaining the change back to the black uniforms (114) then proceed at pace with the remainder of episodes (106, 109-112, 115-122).

Then TNT cancelled the show before broadcasting a single episode. Production ended with 113, so the broadcast batch was stuck with the new premiere (108) all the remaining post hiatus episodes (106, 107, 109-113) and finally the first five (101-105).

This caused continuity issues:

Gideon and Lockley first meet twice in “Each Night I Dream of Home” (105) and again “Ruling from the Tomb” (111) The former was “fixed” at the last minute with a looped line of dialogue (I’ll talk about this more later).

A nano virus shield was used in “Patterns of the Soul” (110) before it was discovered in “The Memory of War” (102).

On screen dates of May 13th in “Visitors from Down the Street” (104) and June 5th in “Ruling from the Tomb” (111) have the episodes in reverse order.

In “The Memory of War” (102) the Apocalypse Box warns Gideon not to trust Galen after his actions in “The Well of Forever” (106) instead of before.

This doesn’t even count the contradiction between the new first episode “War Zone” (108) and the dream sequence/memory/flashback of Gideon getting command in “Racing the Night” (103) which I will also address later.

When Sci-Fi Channel got the rights to re-run Crusade, Straczynski provided a new order for the show to broadcast. It ignored continuity of the costumes and stuck the mandated episodes at the end of the run.

Gideon in "Visitors from Down the Street"


This is the Straczynski/Sci-Fi Channel Broadcast order:
01. Racing the Night (103)
02. The Needs of Earth (101)
03. The Memory of War (102)
04. The Long Road (107)
05. Visitors from Down the Street (104)
06. The Well of Forever (106)
07. Each Night I Dream of Home (105)
08. Patterns of the Soul (110)
09. The Path of Sorrows (109)
10. Ruling from the Tomb (111)
11. The Rules of the Game (112)
12. War Zone (108)
13. Appearances and Other Deceits (113)

This order did build a better audience for the network than the TNT order, but fans, again, do NOT recommend it for new viewers since the last two episodes are the “new premiere” and the episode that explains the costume changes at the end. It’s bewildering to those who don’t know the events behind the scenes creating more continuity issues than the ones it fixes. According to Straczynski was “best from a story point of view, even though it means some visual inconsistencies in terms of unexplained costume changes.” He may be the “great maker,” but the continuity havoc kills any verisimilitude for me and takes me right out of the story.


Another order later emerged for the Official Babylon 5 Chronology.

00. A Call to Arms
01. War Zone (108)
02. The Long Road (107)
03. Appearances and Other Deceits (113)
04. The Memory of War (102)
05. The Needs of Earth (101)
06. Racing the Night (103)
07. Visitors from Down the Street (104)
08. Each Night I Dream of Home (105)
09. The Path of Sorrows (109)
10. Ruling from the Tomb (111)
11. Patterns of the Soul (110)
12. The Well of Forever (106)
13. The Rules of the Game (112)

Straczynski endorsed this version among several others. 

It appeared in the Official Babylon 5 Chronology. The author explained the running order was changed to fill Straczynski’s desire to have the first five incorporated episodes from the post hiatus break.

There is also a version that also includes unproduced scripts which were published briefly online and in the Crusade script books but many viewers (especially first timers) won’t have access the scripts.  

Initially this version fixes some continuity errors, but several stubbornly remain:

It fixes the nanovirus shield issue (102/110) and the Apocalypse Box warning (102/106).

Gideon & Lochley (Tracy Scoggins) in "Each Night I Dream of Home"

However, Gideon and Lochely still meet in “Each Night I Dream of Home” (105) and appear to know each other, but then meet for the first time in “Ruling from the Tomb” (111), thanks to the looped dialogue that was used to fix the issue initially.

“Racing the Night” (103) still starts with a dream/memory that contradicts new premiere, “War Zone” (108). The grey uniforms disappear without explanation after 101-105.

There are some other viewing order versions floating around on the internet but these three are the most prevalent.

This brings us to the first of my two suggested viewing orders. The first one I will call:  “Altered Production” Order:

00. A Call to Arms
01. War Zone (108)
02. Appearances and Other Deceits (113)
03. The Memory of War (102)
04. The Needs of Earth (101)
05. Racing the Night (103)
06. Visitors from Down the Street (104)
07. Each Night I Dream of Home (105)
08. Well of Forever (106)
09. Long Road (107)
10. The Path of Sorrows (109)
11. Patterns of the Soul (110)
12. Ruling from the Tomb (111)
13. Rules of the Game (112)

I start by putting all the episodes in production order. The reason is very simple. While *some* episodes are intentionally filmed out of order, for the most part shows are made in the order they should be seen so the actors play the process and not the result. The network mandates threw a lot of that out the window with Crusade so that leaves me with an altered version of the production order.

Then, I move the ones that *have* to be moved. The new introduction episode “War Zone” (108) must be first right after “A Call to Arms” and “Appearances and Other Deceits” (113) must go before all the gray uniform episodes (101-105). Next, we flop 101 and 102. The recording Natchak Var hears of Dr. Chambers in “The Needs of Earth” (101) appears to be referring to “The Memory of War” (102), which makes sense if you consider the original broadcast order was supposed to be 103, 102 then 101 to start the series (more on that below).



With this new order, fixed is the “Nano-Virus Shield” which requires “The Memory of War” (102) be before “Patterns of the Soul” (110) Also fixed the order of on screen dates of May 13th in “Visitors from Down the Street” (104) and June 5th in “Ruling from the Tomb” (111) and now in “The Memory of War” (102) the Apocalypse Box warns Gideon not to trust Galen before his actions in “The Well of Forever” (106).

It’s still not perfect.

The grey uniforms abruptly disappear without explanation, but it’s easy to assume they are dumped off screen, also not irrational since Gideon hated them.

We still have the issue of Gideon and Lochley meeting in “Each Night I Dream of Home” (105) and appearing to know each other, but then meeting for the “first time” in “Ruling from the Tomb” (111) but I rationalize this as Lochley is frustrated and distracted when Gideon walks up to her in the latter episode. Either way it makes far more sense for “Rules of the Game” (113) to be their last meeting (unlike the original broadcast order which has it before “Each Night I Dream of Home” (105) since the feeling in that episode is one of emotional distance.)


Crusade cast with the revised costumes.

Problematic in *any* list is “Racing the Night” (103). It was originally intended to be the series premiere after “A Call to Arms” and starts with a dream/memory/flashback that contradicts the new mandated series opener: “War Zone” (108). However, it has some wiggle room. The events in the dream that take place on Babylon 5 could have happened after “War Zone,” but because it was a dream it could be mingled with memories of seeing The Excalibur for the first time at Mars. The events are real but jumbled and mixed up in the dream like haze. Not an irrational leap (certainly less so than the other rationalizations) plus if Gideon was on Babylon 5, it would explain meeting Lochley and them appearing to know each other in “Each Night I Dream of Home” (105).

Note: There is a temptation to move “Racing the Night” (103) to the third slot, since it was originally intended to be the first episode, but the creation of “War Zone” (108)  makes that mostly moot plus it would seem abrupt for Dr. Chambers to go from seeing a softer side of Max in “Appearances and Other Deceits” (113) only to call him “king of the pig people” in Racing the Night (103)  So a few episodes including one with the alien porn in “The Needs of Earth” (101) allows for a reset for her view of his character.

This brings me to my second recommended viewing order. I call it “Alternate Production Order” (for Alternating Order):

00. A Call to Arms
01. War Zone (108)
02. Appearances and Other Deceits (113)
03. The Memory of War (102)
04. Long Road (107)
05. The Needs of Earth (101)
06. The Path of Sorrows (109)
07. Racing the Night (103)
08. Patterns of the Soul (110)
09. Visitors from Down the Street (104)
10. Ruling from the Tomb (111)
11. Each Night I Dream of Home (105)
12. Well of Forever (106)
13. Rules of the Game (112)

Most lists (unless they ignore continuity) do one of two things. Either have the gray uniform episodes (101-105) last after “Appearances and other Deceits” (113) (like the original broadcast) or move them up as far as possible and have the gray uniforms vanish unexplained off screen (I do that myself in the “Altered Production Order”).

This thinking has hemmed in viewers to two options both of which result in continuity issues. However, there is one obvious way to get around this that no one seems to have thought of. In fact, it never really occurred to me until I was watching seaQuest DSV (ironic since it looks like the mandated TNT uniforms appear modeled after the first season black uniforms on that show). On that series we would see the crew wearing different uniforms (tan and black in the first season). At first it seemed mission specific, so that would not translate to Crusade, but then it would vary, sometimes in the same episode. So, I thought, why assume an “all or nothing” attitude to the uniforms post “Appearances and Other Deceits” (113)? If we can assume they simply vanish off screen as some lists do, then why can’t we make an equally valid assumption that they chose to alternate between the two uniforms?
seaQuest DSV

This led me to an alteration to the “Altered Production Order” where we alternate the gray and black uniforms episodes implying that the new uniforms are worn part of the time and the regular uniforms are also warn part of the time after “Appearances and Other Deceits” (113). Since 114 was never produced to transition back it’s not a stretch to assume both versions could be used. The real military has various classes of duty uniforms. Plus, it would free up room to fix other issues.

We start with my “Altered Production Order.”

First we move “Ruling from the Tomb” (111) between “Visitors from Down the Street” (104) and “Each Night I Dream of Home” (105) fixing the Gideon/Lockley meeting AND keeps the on-screen dates in the correct order.

Cole on set after the hiatus
Next, we fill in the gaps between the grey uniform (“first five”) episodes by moving up episodes using the production numbers except for “Well of Forever” (106), which I will cover below.

Long Road (107) moves up behind The Memory of War (102).

Path of Sorrows (109) moves up behind Needs of Earth (101).

Patterns of the Soul (110) moves up behind Racing the Night (103)

The reason for moving those three up and not “Well of Forever” (106) is that the aliens scanned by Matheson in “The Needs of Earth” (101) and “Visitors from Down the Street” (104) are the ones Mr. Jones mentions in “Well of Forever” (106) meaning it must go after “Each Night I Dream of Home” (105) since “Ruling from the Tomb” (111) has already taken the slot between “Visitors from Down the Street” (104) and “Each Night I Dream of Home” (105). It keeps it closer to production order and keeps it well after “The Memory of War” (102) when the Apocalypse Box warns Gideon not to trust Galen.

We are out of gray uniform episodes, so we end with “Rules of the Game” (112) which has a nice symmetry since it ends with a shot of Babylon 5.



So, there you have it. If you dig my two options or hate them, let me know.

A quick shout out to another blogger whose posts inspired this blog and my examination of the viewing order list. He goes into far more details on alternate viewing orders and even does a watch through on his favorite version (one not listed here). You can check it all out here: https://greysector.wordpress.com/2016/03/18/crusade-the-continuity-order-watch-through/

Also check out another blogger who did a far more detailed re-working of Babylon 5’s first season viewing order, which was also a big influence on this piece. https://b5season1order.wordpress.com/

Yes, sometimes obsession and too much time on my hands are a bad combination. I should seek treatment.