I really like this page - both versions. This is a great example of why we need an editor: So the initial page rolls in. Looks great. Move along. Flash forward a few weeks, page nine has just gone up and Matt and I are talking about the page 10 twist (I'll elaborate more on that on page 10). Now, I'll just say it's a twist dependent on Baxter being straight-jacketed. Then I realize. "Oh, %#!+, Baxter has not been straight-jacketed for two pages." First I rush to my script to see if I screwed us by leaving it out. It was there, but I still felt like a dolt. You would think I would know the ins and outs of my own story to realize with the first glance that something was amiss. Nope. Not at all. Went right over my head. The artist has an out. He is focused one panel at a time, one page at a time, the writer should see the whole story. Think of it like a jigsaw puzzle. The artist is focusing on getting the colors and shapes to line up. The writer should see the big picture. I missed this one. Matt went back and fixed the panels (like most artists his art was abandoned instead of finished, so he used the opportunity to revise other things that had nothing to do with the straight-jacket incident). My only excuse was that so much time had passed since I wrote it. My first draft was back in June and my second draft in August. It was now December. In the interim I had written "Four Horsemen" and was hip deep in the full length "Saints and Sinners" for Top Cow. I will admit is a totally lame excuse. Matt stuck closest to the script than he had in pages (very minor variations not even worth the time to describe it). I should have seen it right away or at the very least I should have done what I do now and will forever do in the future... pull out the script. If you have been reading these commentaries you already know Matt and I have a pretty loose attitude about sticking to the script. As long as all the plot points are hit and the intent of the scene goes unchanged, then he has free reign, so naturally I don't go running for the script every time a page comes in because, to put it simply, they ain't gonna match. Now I run for the script. Not to nit pick or anything, but to make sure no little plot point slips through the cracks. Big lesson learned.
Now story: Dr. Felicity finally comes face to face with a patient from "Hero Hall." I love the line about managing paranoia with medication. The ending panel is pretty strong I think. All in all, the point was to hammer home the feeling that Baxter is paranoid and delusional and I think we accomplished that. I'll have a few more comments but I want to save it for discussion after the page eight twist.